Sep 4, 2012 11:30pm PDT
, harry reid, jimmy carter, first lady michelle obama and congressional candidate joaquin castro and his twin brother san antonio mayor julian castro. i mean call me racist but i cannot tell these hispanics apart. [laughter] folks. the whole thing is just sad, it's just sad. every time the republicans have a convention it's like the democrats have to have one too. [laughter] but it's not going to work this time around. just ask rnc chairman reince priebus. >> today the thrill and pixy dust of barack obama's presidency is gone. americans feel no hope, democrats are dispirited enthusiasm is clearly on the republican side. >> stephen: yes. [laughter] yes. we have all the enthusiasm. [laughter] mitt romney's our candidate, and there's no changing that now. [laughter] folks, this convention is about more than the presidency. it's about motivating democrats to hold on to the senate and try to take back the house. to do that, they're gonna need strong congressional candidates, which brings me to the 67th in stallment of my 434-part series better know a district. tonight, new york's ninth, the
Sep 12, 2012 11:30pm PDT
convention was a never-ending train of friends of the report. to name just a few-- first lady michelle obama. san antonio mayor julian castro. new york mayor corey booker. education secretary arne duncan. singer/songwriter james taylor. even the symbol of our country, the american flag. how could you betray me like that, flagworth. i should string you up on a pole. ( laughter ) folks, all of these people were on my show and, therefore, received the coveted colbert bump. and the success, the success of the dem convention can mean only one thing-- the bump has gone rogue. ( laughter ) i've lost control of it. now, folks, i prayed this day would never come, but evidently, even god was powerless to stop the bump. probably because he's never gotten it. come on my show, mr. god! ( cheers and applause ) now, answer my calls. never answers. now i know what you're thinking, stephen, you created the bump. surely you can take it away from these democrats. no, it's not that simple. you see, all bumps operate on the same frequency. it's just like wifi-- only you can't tuz to watch porn at starbucks.